Maloof Mayhem?

06.05.09 – Shad Lambert

The Maloof brothers just threw a party for all the skaters participating in the Maloof Cup at the Palms Casino. I didn’t really know what to expect, but it was pretty ridiculous.
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Lizard is officially homeless, so he sneaks into my apartment late at night and told me something about going to Vegas. I didn’t think much of it, but these days when anyone decides to crash on my couch I make them watch Return To Oz while they go to sleep, guaranteed jacked dreams.
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Oh, then I somehow ended up in a mini van and going to the Maloof Party at The Palms in Vegas with these Utahrds.
img_5517We get to the hotel and Biebel instantly grabs us and takes us to his party at the Hardwood Basketball suite. How ridiculous is this?
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Biebs can dunk no problem.
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Lizard can touch the net, sometimes.
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And Braydon was up to some Dirty Biz, or found some Dirty Biz in the hallway.
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Who the hell let these dudes at the Playboy club? Oh Joe Maloof, okay cool.
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Joe’s two favorite skaters.
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Pool time! Biebel was like, “Dude, you should see how high I can pull these up.”
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Then Braydon was like, “Dude, check out my new signature short shorts.”
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Shotguns for breakfast.
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Wind shield.
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Duncombe! He got some losers board for his collection.
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Gear switch. If I could ever get a skate trip with Duncombe, Biebel, Lizard, Dyet, and TK it would probably be the best trip ever.
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Okay, adam is like a party werewolf. Couple drinks and he transforms into a beast, I actually wrote down some of my favorite Party Adam quotes:
“Last time I was here I raged so hard with my shirt off.”
“I hit on that waitress everytime I come here, she’s like 50.”
“Tell the chicks to come in, tell the dudes to chill.”
“I ain’t got no pace, full speed ahead til I’m dead.”
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Animal Chan in his Vegas visor.
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Then the poker tournament started, and the sinners and MILFs showed up.
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Sinner and Heath got into a little slap boxing match, but then they hugged it out later.
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And then Jake was just talking so much shit and crushing the table. Then he went down to nine chips.
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Lizard has a Vegas scarf, and Sammy fucking Baca is the shit.
img_5568And then Jake came back from shortest chip stack to winning to whole damn tournament, whatta monsta!
img_5570Then before I went to sleep, I ran into some random skate rats who didn’t have fake IDs to get into da club. Guess the slots is cool though. Get me out of Vegas… rolling to Salt Lake.